Feb 14, 2011

self pity

I'm feeling like crap, and let's face it, sometimes sucking it up, doesn't actually DO anything.
Reality sucks, as much as I'd like to pretend it doesn't exist and go on pretending I am ignoring it, I fail.

Shall we review my symptoms?
We have the chronic fatigue, intense sciatica pain, symptoms which mimic IBS, chronic abdominal and pelvic pain, painful urination, we have the painful abdominal bloating and the gas which feels like a balloon popping. Seriously, Im waiting for the hypothyroidism charmer, because my weakened immune system and susceptibility to everything, wasn't actually enough!?

I think it is time I face the facts and visit a pain management clinic.
I've put it off for two years, two years in which my trips to the emergency room have multiplied, where I'm scanned and tested and injected and released and the same cause is always stated.

Fuck you, being female.

I know, Im better off then the majority of people in the world. I have health care, I have first world problems, I have 'treatment options'.

I just needed to vent. If I could scream and make the pain go away, I'd be a happy camper.
Quite happy, giddy even.